Jiayang Huang

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【Preface】

我在南山路上的最后一个信号的路口右转

I am turning right before the last crossroads on South Mount Road

看着前面摩托车尾灯如心跳般的扑腾

looking at the light painting by the motorbike which is like a heartbeat

连着翻过了六座西山路上的矮桥

When I across the six low bridge on West Mount Street

我用数字和逻辑

I use digital number and logic philosophy

向终端祈祷

prays to the terminal

请求给湖心亭的水虿一对有力的翅膀

Please give a pair of durable wings to the water worm

哦还是算了

Oh, forget it

我不愿你成为焦躁的蚱蜢

Instead of being an anxious grasshopper

还是去当一只分不清菠萝

I wish you could grow as a dragonfly

和凤梨的蜻蜓吧

who will never be bothered by that puzzle

【Intro】

1.0杭州花圃

我醒过来的时候

When I woke up

已经在花圃里面了

I was already in the Flower Plaza(HZ),

因为我想这里面

because I thought

应该什么花儿都有吧

any flower variety could be found here

说是花圃

Although it was called Flower Plaza

但是我却看到很大一片水塘

it was indeed a large pond

我问了百度

So I asked Miss.Du she answered

她说花儿估计都在湖中心

that the flowerbeds were in the center of the lake.

然后我找了一艘船

then I found a wood canoe

看到了很多花儿

and saw lots of flowers on the way

有白的

such as white flowers

有黄的

some yellow

有粉的

some pink

有一些看起来要生锈了

some of the flowers seemed to have withered

有一些被虫子咬过了

some had been bitten by bugs

有一些已经烂掉了

and some had shriveled

好像它们都不是我要找的花儿

It seemed these were not the bromeliads I was looking for

后来我知道

Later I heard someone said

他们谈论的花儿

that the one in the center of the lake

其实是湖中心的那个女人

was a woman

但是那个并不是我要寻找的凤梨花

but she was not my bromeliad flower

 

2.0巴尔的摩休息室

我不知道他是不是从

I did not know

里约热内卢过来的

if he came from Rio de Janeiro

因为从来没有人在意过他

because no one ever cared about him

通常来说

In general

他就待在我们的休息室里

He was in our lounge

他不在乎他的使命

and he did not care

是不是被别人欣赏

if his mission is to be appreciated or not

我也只是随手拍了一张照片

I just took a photo arbitrarily

只觉得他是一朵花

and I thought it was a flower

好像又不只是一朵花

sometimes it was not just a flower

就好像当我看着一片海洋的时候

This feeling was like when I gazed at an ocean

并分不清与天空的交界线

I could not figure out the bondage of the skyline

又或者说那些飞奔向我的影像

or the images that flew towards me

我并分不清楚

I could not tell

哪些是海水

which one was the ocean

哪些是天空

which was the sky

哪些是雨水

which was the rain

哪些是城市

which was the city

哪些又是田野呢

which was the field

一直到765天后的这一天

Until 765 days later

我才知道

I finally knew

他叫蜻蜓凤梨

his name was Aechmea fasciata

 

3.0气候

天气预报说

The weather forecast said

今天估计要下雨了

it was expected to rain today

现在已经开始刮风了

and now it is starting to wind

天气很闷的时候

When the weather is sultry

蜻蜓会在湖面上飞过来飞过去

dragonflies will fly around the lake

我很不喜欢这里的天气

I don’t like the climate here

特别是梅雨季节的时候

especially the rainy season

要下一整个月的雨

which lasts the whole month

粘嗒嗒,湿哒哒

wet and sticky

这种感觉和巴尔的摩

It feels a lot like the inner harbor

冬天早上四点的内港很像

at 4 a.m in the winter

在隔壁买了杯咖啡之后

After buying a cup of coffee next door

太阳终于升起来了

the sun finally comes up

他们也准备远航了

They are also ready to set sail

我不喜欢这种别扭的感觉

I don’t like this awkward sense

要不赶快下雨

I hope it will rain soon

要不赶快放晴

or the weather will be clear soon

我想出去晒晒太阳

I want to go out to sunbathe

再吹吹风

and let the wind blow

虽然最后还是待在家里

Although I end up staying at home

是不是经历过的就无法改变

is it permanent if you have experienced it

是不是说出来的就失去意义

or is it meaningless if you have said it

 

4.0 载体

我不懂人类为什么迷恋酒精

I don’t understand why human beings are obsessed with alcohol

因为从三月一日开始

Since March 1st

我不打算再吃菠萝了

I don’t plan to eat pineapple anymore

看着一桌子慢慢的罐头残骸

Looking at a table of canned wreckage

就算再吃一个月

even if I eat them for another month

到愚人节那天

on April Fool’s Day

也没有办法把这朵花的意义解释明白

I will not be able to explain the meaning of the flower clearly

我们总害怕东西会过期

We are always afraid that merchandise will expire

所以就用福尔马林

So we use formalin

或者把那些想延续的东西

or put those objects that wants to eternal

浸泡在酒里

soaked in wine

就好像能把他们的意义

it seems that they can flow their meaning

以液体的方式流淌在血液里

in our blood as a liquid

就像黄土从来不只为了种植庄稼

The loess is never just for cultivating crops

大江从来不只为了承载轮船

The river is never just for carrying ships

天空不保证飞机可以划破云层

The sky does not guarantee that the airplane can cross the clouds

深海不确定阳光可以穿透鱼群

The sea is not sure that the sunlight can penetrate the cluster of fish

 

【Main】

我的成长

我出生之后

After I was born

睡在一个电子秤上面

I slept on a scale

妈妈说我有七斤二两

Mom said I had seven pounds

我记不得第一个梦里天气预报有没有说

I couldn’t remember if the weather forecast in my first dream said

这片雨林的平均降水量

that the average rainfall in this forest

会到一千七百五十毫升

would reach 1,750 milliliters

夏天他们在那边吃饭

In the summer, they ate in the dining room

我拿着两千毫升的可乐瓶

I was holding a 2,000ml Coke bottle

哦不对,是雪碧瓶

Oh no, it’s a Sprite bottle

摇摇晃晃的在隔壁玩耍

and wobbly playing next door

春天不下雨的时候

When it didn’t rain in spring

岸边的凤梨幼苗靠在树根旁

pineapple seedlings on the shore leaned against tree roots

静静的等待自然的铃声

and quietly waited for the natural ringtone

啊…啊啊啊啊啊

Ah…ah

你们想象不出来

You couldn’t imagine

冬天的我杭州话说的有多好

how wonderful my Hangzhou speaking skills were in winter

虽然比不过秋天的蜻蜓

Although I couldn’t compare to the autumn dragonflies

可以飞啊飞啊

who would fly and fly

最后选择停在哪片树叶上

Finally, they chose which leaf to stop on

可以不见太阳

They could see neither the sun

也不见月亮的以梦为马

nor the moon for dreaming

妈妈给我保留了一根和外公一样的小辫子

Mom kept me the same braid as grandpa

我已经很久没有去过太子湾了

I hadn’t been to Taiziwan Park for a long time

因为我不再喜好康德斯基的画作

because I had no longer liked Kandinsky’s painting.

终于有一天

Finally one day

蜻蜓可以飞回来还给菠萝

the dragonfly returned to pineapple with amber blood

从他祖先那边借来的琥珀色血液

borrowed from its ancestors

在我还没有换牙齿之前

Before I got my teeth replaced

我可以吃两盒

I could eat two boxes of chocolates

巧克力爷爷送给我的德福

that my grandpa gave me Dove

不知道菠萝成长的时候

I didn’t know whether

需不需要消耗那么从天而降的

the pineapple needed to consume so many

蜻蜓翅膀和蜻蜓之眼

dragonfly wings and dragonfly eyes that fell from the sky

来合成体内的氨基酸

In order to synthesize amino acids for the body

发育之后的初二

When I was in eighth grade

因为背不出英文单词

I was punished for cleaning the windows

而被罚擦玻璃

for not being able to recite English articles.

我至今很后悔

I was still regretting 

为什么老老实实的听从她们的话语

why I honestly obeyed their command

就像这里

Just like here

经常会发生很离奇的事情

there were always happen bizarre cases

它从来不从天空上面掉下来

They usually never dropped from the sky

而是从里面冒出来

rather came out from the inside

飘到哪里都是

Wherever they floated

擦也擦不干净

they couldn’t be wiped clean

每天早上我吹干头发后

Every morning after I blew dry my hair

从镜头面前清醒过来

I woke up from the webcam

开始怀疑

I was starting to wonder

我究竟从何时变成我的

when exactly I became mine

不出意外的话

If nothing else

在下一个循环结束的时候

I would find the answer

我会得到答案

at the end of the next loop

 

Part2

人类的回归

如同往常一样的傍晚

As usual in the evening

你又为选择回到哪个地址

you are entangled in choosing

而感到纠结

which address to return to

由数字组成的信号不会犹豫

The signals composed of numbers will not hesitate

它们构成了无数黑匣子中的

They constitute the incarnation of faith

信仰化身

in countless black boxes

如果提前二十分钟出现

If you show up twenty minutes earlier

也许你会叫做黄国庆

maybe you will be named Celebration Huang

不用再去背蹩脚的英文单词

you don’t have to learn the English vocabulary.

只有在暧昧的灯光下

Only under the ambiguous red light

它们才会上下跳动

they will jump up and down

直到确认自己的位置

until they confirm their location

去年的时候你总说梦到

Last year, you always dreamed

自己的牙齿在一颗颗脱落

that your teeth were falling out one by one

但是你已经戒掉德芙很多年了

but you have given up Dove for many years

每次听到咔嚓咔嚓声之后

Every time you hear the sound of “Click”

现实的蜻蜓也会像显影的胶片那样

the real dragonfly will also look like a developed film

褪去一层外皮

that peels off a layer of skin

不用一直等到你喜欢

You should unnecessarily wait until the day

戴上菠萝帽子那天

you like to wear a pineapple cap

才不会被云霄飞车所困扰

you won’t be bothered by the roller coaster

如果不闭上眼睛的话

If you don’t close your eyes

就会看不清楚

you won’t be able to see clearly

又何必去守护那颗菠萝

so why protect that pineapple

你无法分辨关于话语

You can’t tell whether the words

到底是内心的发声方式

are the voice of the heart

还是她们所凝视的目光

or the panoramic view they stare at

以至在描述蜻蜓凤梨的时候

so when describing the puzzle of Aechmea Fasciata

他们无法明确

it is impossible to tell

所指的到底是什么

what exactly they are referring to

当你摇摇晃晃

When you are swaying

踉踉跄跄

staggering

反反复复

repeating

忙忙碌碌

mediocrity

而又言不由衷的时候

and insincere

它会告诉你

he will tell you

在那用无数肉体

in the temple of Apollo

灵魂

which is piled up with

而堆积成阿波罗的神庙里

countless corpses and souls

它始终不停的转动

it will never stop

转动着

Turning and turning again. 

即使你是太阳的女儿

Even if you are the daughter of the sun

月亮的儿子

the son of the moon

也不必去在意

does not have to care

推车里是不是还躺着那么多

whether there are so many quadrupeds from Plato’s theory

来自柏拉图的四脚兽

lying in the cart

还是去成为哪怕失去了脑袋

To become a two-legged creature

依然可以行走的双足蜻蜓

that can walk even if you lose your head

亦或者去寻找

or To find a puzzle

那朵永远也找不到的凤梨花

that will never be answered

End

当一切回归到原本的样子

When everything returns to the way it is before

我的认知也就不再向前

my cognition stops moving forward

从深信不疑的梦中醒来

I wake up from a dream of surrealism

哪里还记得我的菠萝

where I can still retrieve my pineapples

和蜻蜓呢

and dragonflies